Ashes to Ashes

17 years ago today my mum, Sheila Lucas, died aged 69 in Colchester Hospital aged 69. Non Hodgkins Lymphoma  claimed her life, coming without warning the previous year. Our dad hu NGO onto the ashes until he went into a home this year and me, my sister Karey and brother Viv decided it was time to scatter them, She and  Dad had enjoyed many happy times with their grandchildren in Frinton and Walton so we thought we could split the ashes Between the two resorts.

Yesterday morning we set off in Robbie’s new car to Frinton , Bruce Sprringstein blaring out  from the amazing sound system. Being as we all went I d asked Viv to borrow a wheelchair from his hospice as my legs are so weak now. In actual fact he borrowed 2 as our 87 year old dad is not great on his pins either. So assembled in Frintowe I was  put into a wheelchair and we set off along the sea front. It was bitterly cold but Sunni and it was wonderful to  breathe in the sea air. Mid way between Frinton and Walton we stopped and waited for people to move away then Viv took the jar of ashes out.  Viv, Karey and I all said a few things and it was heartbreaking hearing our dad  tell us he didn’t know what to say. We all threw a handful and whilst Robbie, Owen Viv and Karey scattered ashes on the beach I sat weeping as dad reached out to hold my hand.. I couldn’t help thinking of course about my own death and how one day it ll be me in an urn my family scattering bits of my charred remains  in our local park as I ve requested. However, the sun beamed down through the darkening sky and i  also felt peculiarly happy.

We e headed to a warm pub and had a few drinks before going our separate ways.A sad brut very  uplifting day which I think mum would have approved of.


13 thoughts on “Ashes to Ashes

  1. I just think you are amazing! Have been reading posts from people you have supported through your blog – you are an amazing woman!

  2. Dear Lindy. I have followed your blog every since we spoke earlier in the year. You are absolutely incredible and this post brought tears to my eyes (again). I very much hope that you have a good festive season with your lovely family.
    With very best wishes. Alice x

  3. Lindy’s book has sold over 2,000 copies in various formats, which is pretty brilliant for a self-publisher. Now it has been picked up by a mainstream publisher – Ashgrove Publishing- and will come out in the New Year: a polished and updated version of “The Voice in my Head is Perfect” with a new chapter – “What Lindy did next”. A must read. Keith McMullan x

  4. Hi Lindy,
    Christmas is going to be interesting this year!!!
    Very best wishes to you and yor family and don’t forget to have a little ‘bubbly’ in the PEG. I will be. Not sure how much turkey dinner I will manage but let’s enjoy it all.
    Please keep the blogs coming as they help so many of us.
    Love Babs xxx

  5. Hi Lindy,

    All the best for Christmas this year! Our thoughts are with you and your family as the Summer downunder gathers pace and we swelter while you go into Winter; I hope you are not affected too much by all the storms we’re hearing about.
    Of course we’ll chuck a prawn or two on the bbq with a bit of cold turkey, ham and salad on the verandah and try to make conversation as the cicadas are making such a din this year!

    Norman, Camille, Thomas and Lucy

  6. Just wanted to wish you and your family a happy Christmas, Lindy. My wonderful Mum was diagnosed with MND at Easter after very similar symptoms to yours and we are just preparing for a very different Christmas to normal. Reading your book helped me to understand how my Mum must be feeling, and I’m
    very grateful for that. Take care.

  7. Been thinking about you and when I see Helen walking her dog I ask after you. She told me about the lovely visit she had and the reminiscing-was it was good to read as part of your blog…to me you’re a famous publisher and I’ve read something you’ve written I knew about-strange feeling!! I so hope you can still use your typing finger… the eye scan computer sounds a nightmare-and I remember you with your laptop at school. You need eye rolling to spell out a rude word. Xxx

  8. Hi Lindy, Found your last post very moving, as I had already heard about the scattering of your mother’s ashes from Karey. Karey says your mobility has declined but you still have the use of one finger so I hope to read more of your blog soon!
    Re death: we will all die sooner or later, but you will live long in the memory with the literary legacy you will leave. Ruth x