A lot of people have called me brave but I do not accept this word about myself. Certainly when I was he’s,thy I considered myself to be a terribly over anxious worrier who wfrightened of lots of things: waspz heights driving on motor ways authority figures who shouted swimming in the sea……the list could go on and on! Having this horrible illness has brought out all my morbid fears of suffocating or choking and of course dying itself something I also thought a lot about when I was well. What a ridiculous waste of energy! I should have beeb savouring each day eating peanut n butter and banana sandwiches every day and thinking about all the things I wasn’t afraid of-
i cry everaa day about being ip ill I am consumed with jealousy by a all healthy friends. And I don’t want to tell the world how much I am. Still loving life because I don’t.
I m not brave I m just trying. To stay alive though some times I honestly wonder what for.